February 9th, 1863

Mt. Carmel, Monday eve, Feb 9th/63

Ever dear Husband,

I am setting here in the kitchen alone, with baby asleep by my side. There is to be a surprise party at Mr. Thayers tonight. Mother and I had an invitation, but I thought it would be the most proper for the oldest to stay at home (as we couldn’t both go) so I staid at home for mother to go, you knew she is younger about going around, than I am.

It is a very dark, muddy, and it hardly seemed prudent for her to go, she said she wished I would go, but I didn’t feel as if I could, at least I didn’t want to, so I started her off and am going to send Robert down by and by to come home with her, since baby has been so troubled with her teeth. She is so worrisome toward night, that it requires all the ingenuity I am master of to keep her anyways good natured and when I get her into the cradle and asleep I feel very tired and nervous. I feel tonight as if I would give more for an hours quiet than I would to go to all the parties that were ever got up.

Your letter of Feb 4th lies before me, I received it tonight, and although I mailed a letter to you this morning, I hasten to answer it, because you wished me to, as soon as I received it. Some how it made me blue, I can’t tell you just why, perhaps there is no reason for it. It would seem as if you was weary of writing to me, you speak of it as an “oft repeated obligation”, you say you have written “so many, (I know you have written often for which I thank you kindly) and such long letters, that it is a wonder to you, what they are all about”. I can assure you my dear Husband that if you have forgotten about them, I haven’t they are dear good letters, and I love them, and I should hate to comply with your suggestion to burn them.

Mine are poorer than yours, but yet I wouldn’t ask you to destroy them, I haven’t written quite as many letters as you have, but have written considerable more because I write finer, and closer, and fill the paper fuller, more in quantity I mean, not in quality, and if I presume if you should say what you think you would say there would have been more to them, if there hadn’t have been as much, but much as I have written, I am not weary of the task, only as it is a convincing proof that I haven’t you here.

I acknowledge that receipt of your “government 5”, and thank you for it, although I would rather you hadn’t sent it for the tone with which you write about sending me money, would imply that you was scrimping yourself to send to me, which believe me I don’t wish you to do, I have plenty to eat and drink (although I think I would like some cider with my walnuts) and my wardrobe I shall make answer without replenishing for awhile yet, and if the Lord spares us health, we will do well enough, and I don’t want you too suffer for the need of your hard earned wages, all that I can of what I have, I shall save for you, so if you should want it back again, I think I should be able to send it to you.

I don’t wonder you didn’t feel much like writing that cold night, for I suppose you couldn’t keep your room quite as warm as you could if you had our big stove down there. I should think you would suffer with the cold, how I wish in cold nights that I could send you a good warm comfortable to wrap up in. I feel glad that you don’t have to go out on picket.

I send you a paper quite often I wonder if they reach you, I am intending now to send you a box in a few days, I wrote in one letter and asked you if you wouldn’t like me to send so and so, but I won’t be likely to get the answer to that until after I have sent if I send this week, I don’t like to put off any longer for fear they will “tote” you off before it reaches you, but if you will tell me of anything you would like I will get it to you.

Aunt Sarah has a photograph album that she is going to send to Ezra Day before long, he sent home for one, it is a beauty. I saw it today, I suppose you will see it when it gets there. Maria Cook had a letter from her husband tonight, with a five in it, she said this morning I saw her (I went up to Hobart’s) that all the soldiers was sending money and she didn’t get any and she didn’t see as she could afford to send him much. She said that 10 dollars a month wasn’t very big to support her and her three children.¹ I am glad he sent her some for I guess she needs it, he wrote he should send more if that got through safe, I should send you some more stamps this time, but I have only enough to use tonight. I will get some before I write again.

I presume I shall write again this week if I send the box, you will please excuse this apology for a letter, I am not in a writing mood.

Goodnight my dear husband. God keep and bless you.

Carrie